It’s slower to change alone
Editor
It’s slower to change alone
Every big change in my life started with another person who saw something in me before I could see it myself.
The shy kid in China
When I was 19, I moved to China. I was shy, I doubted myself, and I was convinced that confidence was something other people were born with.
Then I met Sherman Chui. He became my mentor, and he believed I could be more than I believed. Because he did, I started doing things I would have refused a year earlier, including performing in Chinese on stage and on TV.
The shy kid did not disappear overnight. But I learned something I have never forgotten: confidence is not a personality trait. It is built, and it is usually built with someone’s help.
The mentor who feels like a brother
Dr. Ricardo Soto is like a brother to me. He coaches me in all areas of my life: health, love, relationships and the small decisions of an ordinary day.
He asks questions I would never ask myself, and he points out patterns I cannot see from the inside. Every conversation expands how I look at my life and how I handle what comes at me.
A friend often tells you what you want to hear. A good coach tells you what you need to hear, and does it with care.
The people I could not hire
There are also mentors I have never had a single private session with. Tony Robbins and Dr. Joe Dispenza have shaped me as much as anyone, and a one-to-one session with either of them was never something I could afford.
Their work still reached me. It fed my hunger to grow, as a businessman and as a man, and it taught me to put that growth to work by creating value for other people. I have been a student of this work since 2015, and I am still one.
That is why I teach it today. I know what it is like to want guidance and not be able to buy a seat at the top of the ladder. You may not be able to sit with Tony or Joe. You can learn the principles, practise them, and work with someone who walks the path next to you.
You can change alone. Many people do. It takes longer, it includes more detours, and it quietly ends more often than it should.
What a coach does that you cannot do alone
A good coach changes that in three ways:
Sees your blind spots. The habits that hold you back feel normal from the inside. Someone outside can name them.
Holds you to the practice. Insight fades by the third week. A coach helps you repeat the new behaviour until it becomes yours.
Raises the standard. You start acting from the person you want to become, because someone else already sees that person.
In business, the same is true. A founder or a leader makes dozens of decisions a day, mostly from the same mental habits that got them here. Those habits work until the situation changes, and then they become the ceiling.
A coach gives a leader a place to think clearly, to say what cannot be said to the team, and to stay steady while everything around them moves. Teams feel it. A leader who is clear is calmer, decides faster, and makes it safer for others to do the same.
Start with a conversation
If there is something you have been trying to change on your own, you do not have to keep doing it that way.
Book a free 30-minute call. We will look at where you are, where you want to go, and whether coaching is the right next step. No preparation needed.
